Fat Girl,

The Process of Being.

By Dani Ward April 16, 2017 0 Comments

This Saturday, April 22, I will turn 30 years old. (Want to help me celebrate?)

Frankly, this terrifies me.

All my life, I never envisioned myself living past the age of 28. I figured that either the rapture would have occurred, or I would have killed myself. So you’d think 29 would have been my all-out panic year, but I spent 29 dealing with a lot of other things.

Now, with 30 at my doorstep, I’m caught in its headlights, awaiting its impact with an ever-increasing sense of dread.

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Cognitive distortion and taking up space.

By Dani Ward November 3, 2016 2 Comments

My brain is spinning with thoughts and conversations over the past weeks, the culmination of almost a year’s worth of introspection and mourning. “I looked through the journal section of your blog and noticed you haven’t really written lately,” a friend noted. No. I haven’t. I’ve been afraid, frankly. With some good reason and probably…

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Redeeming Love Review: “Fallen” Angel

By Dani Ward July 12, 2015 25 Comments

Overview and analysis of chapters 1-6. Trigger warnings for topics including sex trafficking, childhood sexual abuse, rape, emotional abuse, domestic violence, and suicide.

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Self-Care and Why I Wear Makeup

By Dani Ward June 15, 2015 0 Comments

At long last, I’ve been able to record and produce another episode for Self-Care Artist! Self-Care Artist is an ongoing conversation about body positivity, make-up, mental health, social issues, and self-care in general. I hope you enjoy! Please subscribe and comment if you like it, and let me know what you’d like me to talk…

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Robin Williams is dead, and I’m not okay.

By Dani Ward August 12, 2014 10 Comments

Content note: frank discussion of suicide, abuse, disordered eating.

It is August 11, 2014, and a voice, a face, of my childhood, is gone. I am shocked, and read on to find what has taken such a man from the world.

And there it is: suicide.

I am 6. I am 9. I am 12, 13, 18, 25, 27. I contain all of me, the sadness and shame and fear of an admittedly small lifetime, and all of me is grieving the loss of one who couldn’t fight the sadness anymore.

It was never a phase. It was never selfishness. It was never a ploy for attention. I was never a failure. I must tell myself these things, over and over and over, and I must tell you, too.

Because Robin Williams is dead, and I am not okay.

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Lessons learned at the Fortress of Faith, Part 1.

By Dani Ward August 8, 2014 0 Comments

What started as a survival tactic to escape the paranoia that Bob Jones University instilled in me turned into a confident determination to control as much of my life as possible. It revealed my independent spirit, and for that I am thankful.

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Love is hard work.

By Dani Ward February 20, 2014 143 Comments

26 years takes a toll on a girl
and love is hard work.

But that’s okay.
I’m worth it.

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Rambling into the void.

By Dani Ward December 31, 2013 0 Comments

Avoid as necessary. Trigger warnings like whoa. Nothing to see here.

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