Fat Girl,

Never.

January 15, 2018 1 Comment

Two years ago this month, I left my hus­band, short­ly before telling him he had 2 weeks to get out of the house for good. It’s been a very long two years, full of pain and strug­gle and free­dom and con­fu­sion and find­ing myself. And find­ing words.

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Haikus With Dani: Breakup Edition

March 3, 2016 3 Comments

In so many ways, the dis­solv­ing of my mar­riage has been unspeak­ably hard. I lit­er­al­ly don’t have tru­ly appro­pri­ate words for this expe­ri­ence, only deep chasms with­in my being that alter­nate­ly flow with rage and sor­row, then ebb with hol­low mis­ery. So I decid­ed to put the frag­ment­ed shards of grief into haikus.

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The Stories We Tell: Purity Culture Edition

February 18, 2016 2 Comments

Puri­ty cul­ture pre­pared me for a world that doesn’t exist. The world that does exist is both so much bet­ter and so much worse than I was led to believe.

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When I must be “The Bad Guy.”

February 1, 2016 6 Comments

I could explain my thought process­es for every step of these var­i­ous jour­neys. I’m very prone to explain­ing and dis­sect­ing and hop­ing beyond hope that I can just make you see why and how, make you see cause and effect, con­nect dots for you, con­nect dots for me. I want to feel jus­ti­fied, val­i­dat­ed. I don’t want to be The Bad Guy. I don’t want to accept that to so many, I am petu­lant and over-shar­ing and run­ning away from prob­lems that could be fixed if I would just try hard­er.

But I can’t change, even if I tried. Even if I want­ed to.*

And so…here I sit. The Bad Guy. It’s not com­fort­able. I don’t like it. But if this is who I have to be in order to be me, then so be it.

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