Fat Girl,

Never.

By Dani Ward January 15, 2018 1 Comment

Two years ago this month, I left my husband, shortly before telling him he had 2 weeks to get out of the house for good. It’s been a very long two years, full of pain and struggle and freedom and confusion and finding myself. And finding words.

Read More

As dumpster fires go.

By Dani Ward December 31, 2016 0 Comments

I’ve been sitting here for a good 10 minutes, just staring at the screen. Occasionally typing a sentence or two, then deleting. The words I want to say aren’t words I feel I can say yet, and so I choose to be silent. Much like I have most of this year, if you’ve noticed. On…

Read More

Cognitive distortion and taking up space.

By Dani Ward November 3, 2016 2 Comments

My brain is spinning with thoughts and conversations over the past weeks, the culmination of almost a year’s worth of introspection and mourning. “I looked through the journal section of your blog and noticed you haven’t really written lately,” a friend noted. No. I haven’t. I’ve been afraid, frankly. With some good reason and probably…

Read More

Some thoughts on rape culture and unintentional derailing.

By Dani Ward June 4, 2014 4 Comments
Image from TV Week.

Rape culture affects everyone, but we don’t have to have all the conversations about all the things any time we want to talk about one of them.

Read More

In which I realize how bad my assault was.

By Dani Ward May 5, 2014 0 Comments

Sometimes I downplay my college assault, but maybe I should stop gaslighting myself. Trigger warning for description of sexual assault after the jump.

Read More

Rambling into the void.

By Dani Ward December 31, 2013 0 Comments

Avoid as necessary. Trigger warnings like whoa. Nothing to see here.

Read More

In which I am hesitant to call it abuse.

By Dani Ward March 18, 2013 12 Comments

This week is Spiritual Abuse Awareness Week, a synchroblog hosted by Hännah, Joy, and Shaney (along with Rachel and Elora). Today we’re all linking up with Hännah, and I’m so thrilled that this is happening. And yet…

And yet.

Read More

The proper response.

By Dani Ward December 8, 2011 12 Comments

Trigger warning: sexual assault, rape.

When someone tells you that they have been sexually assaulted, harassed, molested, raped, or anything of the sort, the proper response is to say, “I’m so sorry. It wasn’t your fault. What happened to you was reprehensible, and no one should be forced to go through that. What can I do to be there for you? Do you want to report it to the police? I will be with you every step of the way, no matter what you do. You’re not alone.”

If you have any doubts about whether or not they are telling the truth, the proper response is still the same as the above. Do not voice your lack of concern. Do not voice or otherwise show your incredulity. Be nothing short of supportive.

Read More