Fat Girl,

Cognitive distortion and taking up space.

November 3, 2016 2 Comments

My brain is spin­ning with thoughts and con­ver­sa­tions over the past weeks, the cul­mi­na­tion of almost a year’s worth of intro­spec­tion and mourn­ing. “I looked through the jour­nal sec­tion of your blog and noticed you haven’t real­ly writ­ten late­ly,” a friend not­ed. No. I haven’t. I’ve been afraid, frankly. With some good rea­son and prob­a­bly…

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Intersectionality or Bullshit: When White Feminists Profit From Women of Color

August 12, 2016 0 Comments
A mix of roman caps, italic, and uncial calligraphy of Flavia Dzodan's quote, "My feminism will be intersectional or it will be bullshit."

I don’t deserve cook­ies or kudos for how I’ve han­dled inter­est in this design, for being pri­mar­i­ly con­cerned with Flavia’s own­er­ship of her words and desir­ing that she receive com­pen­sa­tion for her work rather than me. This is bare min­i­mum decent human behav­ior.

Espe­cial­ly for fem­i­nists who claim to be inter­sec­tion­al when their actions prove, when it comes to inter­sec­tion­al­i­ty, their fem­i­nism is indeed bull­shit.

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Redeeming Love Review Update

July 13, 2016 0 Comments

Hel­lo, dear friends. It’s offi­cial­ly been a year since I start­ed my Redeem­ing Love review series. A lot has hap­pened in that year, some of which I’m hes­i­tant to talk about at any length on this par­tic­u­lar plat­form. Suf­fice it to say that every time I’ve tried to pick up the book to con­tin­ue the review,…

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Headphone Hipster Illustration

July 6, 2016 0 Comments

I’ve nev­er real­ly paint­ed. I’ve cre­at­ed 5 acrylic paint­ings in my life, all of which were done in col­lege in 2007. I’ve drawn with mark­ers and microns with some suc­cess. But as I’ve grown more inter­est­ed in illus­tra­tion and fash­ion, I’ve been study­ing Jes­si­ca Durrant’s work more and test­ing out how ink and water can work togeth­er.

For my first real for­ay into ink/­fash­ion-ish illus­tra­tion, I’m pret­ty pleased — and real­ly excit­ed about what I may be able to do with some prac­tice.

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Haikus With Dani: JerkBrain Edition.

June 21, 2016 2 Comments

There’s a lot going on in my life. I’ve deac­ti­vat­ed my Twit­ter for a lit­tle bit. Vul­ner­a­bil­i­ty is ter­ri­fy­ing, but it’s eas­i­er to be vul­ner­a­ble to an amor­phous mass of peo­ple than talk to any­one in par­tic­u­lar about what’s been hap­pen­ing, even the things that are only hap­pen­ing inside my own head. There­fore, you’re get­ting more of my depress­ing frag­ments of dia­logue, this time brought to you by my very own Jerk­Brain.

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Codependent avoidance.

May 27, 2016 1 Comment

I’m spend­ing a lot of time just sort of sit­ting with myself. What do I want? What do I think? What am I will­ing to give, or ask for? Why? Am I just try­ing to pla­cate oth­ers for my own com­fort and ease of anx­i­ety, or is this some­thing I’m gen­uine­ly will­ing to agree to or com­pro­mise on? If so, why?

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Haikus With Dani: Existential Edition

May 16, 2016 1 Comment

I’ve been rather exis­ten­tial late­ly. I mean, I usu­al­ly am any­way. But back to the “it’s hard to explain in any­thing except shards of thought” kind of exis­ten­tial. So. The con­tents of these haikus will like­ly turn into blog posts at some point. But for now, I serve them to you as the frag­ments they are.

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The Stories We Tell: Purity Culture and Shame.

April 1, 2016 7 Comments

I had a very eye-open­ing con­ver­sa­tion with my mom recent­ly.

We were talk­ing about my mar­riage to my ex, and she asked me if her hunch was cor­rect that I’d have mar­ried him any­way if my par­ents hadn’t giv­en us per­mis­sion. (You see, in our iter­a­tion of puri­ty cul­ture, even as a 22-year-old adult, I need­ed my par­ents’ per­mis­sion to mar­ry.)

I thought a moment and answered hon­est­ly: yes, I would have still mar­ried him. Then I clar­i­fied, “I hon­est­ly thought I had to.”

You didn’t get that from us!” Mom respond­ed in aston­ished con­fu­sion. “You don’t have to mar­ry some­one just because you slept with them.

Let me state up front: that’s an entire­ly true state­ment. I agree with it 100%.

And yet it was my turn to be shocked.

Because that state­ment flew in the face the entire nar­ra­tive of my first 20+ years of life..

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Updated Skincare Routine for Early Spring 2016

March 7, 2016 0 Comments

It’s been a while since I’ve writ­ten any­thing about the skin­care and beau­ty aspect of my self-care rou­tines! After answer­ing a friend’s ques­tion about skin­care and lit­er­al­ly writ­ing enough for a blog post…I decid­ed to mod­i­fy it and turn it into a post, since I’ve got­ten to know my skin and what it needs a lit­tle bit bet­ter than I did the last time I talked about my rou­tine.

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Haikus With Dani: Breakup Edition

March 3, 2016 3 Comments

In so many ways, the dis­solv­ing of my mar­riage has been unspeak­ably hard. I lit­er­al­ly don’t have tru­ly appro­pri­ate words for this expe­ri­ence, only deep chasms with­in my being that alter­nate­ly flow with rage and sor­row, then ebb with hol­low mis­ery. So I decid­ed to put the frag­ment­ed shards of grief into haikus.

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