Haikus With Dani: Existential Edition

existential

Haikus With Dani: Existential Edition

existential

I’ve been rather exis­ten­tial late­ly. I mean, I usu­al­ly am any­way. But back to the “it’s hard to explain in any­thing except shards of thought” kind of exis­ten­tial. So. The con­tents of these haikus will like­ly turn into blog posts at some point. But for now, I serve them to you as the frag­ments they are.

Existential.

My body and soul
seem to invite pun­ish­ment
from both God and man.

I was raised to think
I’d earned eter­nal tor­ture
sim­ply exist­ing.

I’m bro­ken, defiled,
and incur­ably evil…
at least, so they say.

Not only that, but
my body’s a weapon that
men will det­o­nate.

My gen­der and size
neces­si­tate silence and
breed con­tempt from all.

I’m drown­ing in shame
from my very exis­tence
with­out and with­in.

Normality.

Anx­i­ety, trau­ma,
depres­sion and chron­ic pain
mark me “Abnor­mal.”

But what is “Nor­mal?”
I only know it’s some­thing
I have nev­er been.

I just can­not do
what every­one expects…or
am I pro­ject­ing?

I don’t know how to
see myself as any­thing
but incon­ve­nient.

Posted in Fat Girl,
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