Fat Girl,

Ch-ch-ch-changes

By Dani Ward May 26, 2018 0 Comments

Welcome to the new site in all its work-in-progress glory. Let’s talk about some stuff, like why there’s a new site in the first place and what you can expect from me moving forward.

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Never.

By Dani Ward January 15, 2018 1 Comment

Two years ago this month, I left my husband, shortly before telling him he had 2 weeks to get out of the house for good. It’s been a very long two years, full of pain and struggle and freedom and confusion and finding myself. And finding words.

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Consideration — For the Well-Meaning Christian

By Dani Ward October 18, 2017 1 Comment

I’ve said over and over again in this series: I know you mean well. But you have got to think about your words. Think about what you’re saying when you say, “It’s only through the grace of God that I’m healing.” Think about the implications of your words to people who aren’t like you. Think about how what brings you comfort has been used as a baseball bat against others.

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Pro-Choice and Proud

By Dani Ward June 23, 2017 0 Comments

Normalize and support a person’s right to choose.

Everyone deserves basic reproductive health, and for people with uteruses, that health is impossible without the right to choose.

Don’t just support places like Planned Parenthood Action (but please do!! especially your local clinics!!). Support the people in your life who need that support.

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The Process of Being.

By Dani Ward April 16, 2017 0 Comments

This Saturday, April 22, I will turn 30 years old. (Want to help me celebrate?)

Frankly, this terrifies me.

All my life, I never envisioned myself living past the age of 28. I figured that either the rapture would have occurred, or I would have killed myself. So you’d think 29 would have been my all-out panic year, but I spent 29 dealing with a lot of other things.

Now, with 30 at my doorstep, I’m caught in its headlights, awaiting its impact with an ever-increasing sense of dread.

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Haikus with Dani: Coercion

By Dani Ward March 17, 2017 0 Comments

Content note: rape

St. Patrick’s Day will never be the same for me. This whole week has been nothing but hellish memory almost every waking moment. I’m so grateful for the friends and family who have spent time with me to make sure I’m not alone and that I’m safe.

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Haikus With Dani: overwhelmed; overwhelming.

By Dani Ward February 28, 2017 0 Comments

Brought to you by intense introspection during a season of traumatic anniversaries. I’ve been thinking a lot about how to describe my mental health struggles, and I think I touched on a couple of things pretty well here.

i do not mean to
overwhelm you. i simply
overwhelm myself.

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Haikus with Dani: In Which There Is No Room.

By Dani Ward January 26, 2017 0 Comments

It’s been a full year since I broke up with my spouse. A very hard year, if you recall. I’ve spent a lot of time trying to process things as best as I can, and that often looks like distilling emotions into haikus. Something about the structure and limitation seems to lend itself well to expressing myself in succinct and powerful ways (much like how Twitter’s character limit can help focus one’s thoughts).

I don’t really want to offer commentary on this. There is so much I am still processing. But it feels important to share it, and to share it now. And one of my goals is to listen to my intuition far more than I’ve been able to in the past.

One thing I will say is this: it’s a terrifying time in our country right now. To be a woman, not white, not straight, not healthy in body and mind. Most of my friend group — myself included — are fighting the creeping despair as we watch this new administration work so hard to make our lives at best uncomfortable and at worst nonexistent. It’s easy to not take care of yourself in an effort to remain informed, to know what fresh hell awaits every morning.

But the little things matter. Little things like remembering to eat. Checking in with friends. Asking people to check in on you. Kissing your loved ones. Snuggling your pets. Or even daring to simply take up space.

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As dumpster fires go.

By Dani Ward December 31, 2016 0 Comments

I’ve been sitting here for a good 10 minutes, just staring at the screen. Occasionally typing a sentence or two, then deleting. The words I want to say aren’t words I feel I can say yet, and so I choose to be silent. Much like I have most of this year, if you’ve noticed. On…

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Cognitive distortion and taking up space.

By Dani Ward November 3, 2016 2 Comments

My brain is spinning with thoughts and conversations over the past weeks, the culmination of almost a year’s worth of introspection and mourning. “I looked through the journal section of your blog and noticed you haven’t really written lately,” a friend noted. No. I haven’t. I’ve been afraid, frankly. With some good reason and probably…

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